Four feet does not seem like a very great distance to cover. It can be traveled my any and all means of transportation up to and including a large disabled man crawling on his stomach. On the basketball sidelines four feet is the estimated distance between three folding chairs setup on the end of the bench chairs for the members of the coaching staff. If you are lucky enough to sit in the far right or far left chair you will have more than a few good stories to tell, loads of great memories, and a lot of respect and admiration. There are many worst places to the far right and left chairs, but as far greater men then me have learned it's not the center chair.
My coaching career has been covered numerous times by writers far greater then myself. I held down the outside chair positions from the ages of 16-22 and observed thrilling wins and crushing defeats. I was part of a championship and coached on the same bench were my coaching idol John Calipari worked his magic at UMASS. Six years in to my coaching I still had no idea of I was a mere novelty or prodigy I just knew that I wanted to move over four feet to the center chair. That seat which is occupied by only the head represented everything to me. It represented success, power, influence accomplishment self-worth and happiness. It was only place I really wanted to be. Calling out plays, screaming at officials, barking out substitutions brought more joy then anything I had ever done in my life. With stars in my eyes and great dreams of what was to come I left the left and right chairs of the varsity team in 2006 for more practice time in the center chair by heading up the offseason programs.
The sparsely attended outdoor summer league at Crompton Park is a far cry from the packed gyms of February and March. Playing on asphalt on hot nights, shooting on old rims and torn nets the basketball can is often terrible and the players apathetic. During busy vacation and camp weeks it can be hard to even find five guys to play. It is here that I honed my skills in the "practice" center chair for the past five years. During that time I complied many many loses in the league's regular season, but when my first string is back for the playoffs I have managed to make to three finals and two semi-finals. Upon making the Finals in 2007 I was profiled once again in the Worcester Telegram called a "coach on the rise" and deemed ready to take over a program my several area coaches. My plan had worked, the elusive four feet seemed closer than ever.
Calls were made, resumes were emailed and nothing was returned. In 2008, I took on a baseball assistant coaching position to further develop my coaching abilities. Following another summer league final and a win in the annual tournament at Assumption College Tournament I finally had the momentum necessary to make the move to the center chair. The head coaching job at Burncoat had finally come open and I was sure to be considered for the job. As luck would have it an assistant coach from Harvard University had moved into the area and was swooped up before any other candidates were even considered. I was lost and decided the best move was to go back to the left and right chairs of the varsity team. An influx of former players and new hires had left me without a position on the varsity staff. I was told to wait it out in the summer league and trust that my time would come.
Fast forward to today where I am currently a consultant on the Wachusett Basketball staff. The Burncoat job had come open for the third time in three years and was given to one of the people who had replaced me in the outside chairs after I left. I was asked to return to where I started and help get the old crew back together. An absurd MIAA rule (governing body of Mass HS Athletics) has barred me from the bench. By being a company man and continuing my summer coaching I can only watch games from the bleachers. I have thought about challenging the rule, but determined it would do more harm then good. As I watched from the bleachers Tuesday night during across from the bench I started my journey on twelve years ago, tears welled up in my eyes. I bit my lip hard to keep myself from the public embarrassment of being a grown man sobbing at a meaningless scrimmage. I never felt further away from that four feet in my life.
I have never made a dime coaching basketball and likely never will. The past twelve years have been a long winding journey. High school times were lost, college time lost, events missed and family sacrifices made. As I stand here today I would change nothing, my story is not that unique. Coaches in all sports often travel the world to move the four feet that separates an assistant coach from a head coach. It is not silly to continue to try to navigate the longest four feet on Earth, what it took me til last night to realize is just how silly it is to let four feet determine happiness and self worth. I do not know if I can handle "consulting", but I sure as hell won't let it get me to the place I got to Tuesday night. I will make it the four feet to the center chair someday and even if it's at the smallest elementary school in the world I'll be ready to run with it. I'm done worrying about the kid in the newspapers and focusing on where I should have been and instead choosing to focus all my energy only on where I'm Going.
P.S. Thanks for putting up with a personal blog, I promise to keep it fun moving forward just needed to vent.
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